Pets

*Disclaimer: I am not against the domestication of animals.*

I have noticed something strange, I think that perhaps some very clever animals have tricked us into giving them food and coddling. I am not sure how, but I have loads of circumstantial evidence.
The basic premise is this, Pets, are actually pests. We just took out an S and decided we wanted them. basically the type of animal, location, function, and size of an animal are all irrelevant in drawing this important distinction.
First, the main distinction between and infestation of cockroaches, and a few cats is that we feed the cats intentionally, and care that they are well fed with adequate nutrition. Cockroaches are more like accidentally fed pets. this is the only way to determine if something is a pet, and not a pest, since, after all, you can have a pet mouse, or a pest mouse. I contend, what, pray tell, is the difference if not a simple case of nutritional semantics?
Second, the relative "cuteness" of an animal is unimportant. People regularly practice keeping notoriously un-cute animals such as ferrets, snakes, and spiders. This clearly shows that we do not choose our pets, rather they choose us. Definitely through some form of mind control.
Third, the location of, or confinement of an animal does not influence its pethood. If you have a pet hamster, and it "escapes" its cage, it doesn't suddenly take on the posture of an infesting animal looking to colonize your home, but rather that of a lost sheep in the fields. Further, some pets receive virtually no confinement at all. Like that neighbor who doesn't even have the invisible fence, just a dog that freely roams the streets. what then is the difference between this dog and a stray? We feed it. Purposefully.
Fourth, animals no longer need to serve a function to be acceptable pets. For example the pug. A dog bred in such a way as to have breathing problems, and be weak. Clearly this animal serves no function. The list goes on to include virtually every domesticated animal there is from the poodle to the ferret.
All these evidences stacked together clearly indicate that we have been duped by generations of animals, far more intelligent than we are. people sometimes suggest that humans are the dominant species on the earth because of our industry and complex society. If we are to accept this assertion, what then are the group of organisms that have convinced us that rather than unwanted invaders they are complex emotional beings that have every intention showing us affection? What are these animals that have willfully tricked us unto tending to their every need, emotionally, physically, mentally? What then are the animals for whom a mulitibillion dollar yearly trade happens, and they never earned a dime of it? What then are these furry infiltrators if not the dominant species on planet earth?
It is my submission that animals are far smarter than humans, clearly any ones that have been domesticated have achieved the highest level of complexity. I suggest as we look toward the future, we seriously consider having house hold pets take an active role in leadership. I foresee a future where we have a Dog for president, cats as advisers, mice for secretary of state, and a foreign mister snake. This future holds great possibilities, perhaps one day Americans can have their own set of live in servants that give us everything we want or need and only ask us to lick their faces and hump their legs in return. What a glorious day this will be. Stock up on pup-a-ronie and beggin' strips America. Dogs may not know that it's not bacon, but they know how to control people.