Commercials.

So my sister has been out of town for the whole month, and i have spent a lot of time in the house since it had been an amiable 15 degrees outside. To avoid the feeling of solitary confinement, i turn on the T.V. even though i honestly despise the thing. So I have seen some commercials and despite what they may actually say, they are in fact saying other things. I am writing this post to share my findings.

1 Stouffers
Who: maker of all forms of not so homemade foods of marginal health value.
Synopsis: a young girl puts her tropy on the mantle. It says 5th place. the girl is in her karate outfit through the whole commercial. she then mixes salad and her mother prepares a Stouffers lasagna. a voiceover tells about childrens confidence and the correlation it shares with family dinner. The girl's mother then says "5th place?" at the close of the commercial.
What they try to say: Kids who have family dinner are more likely to feel parental approval. Stouffers wants kids to feel parental approval. Ergo, they make not-so-homemade foods.
What they are actually saying: Kids who get 5th place in a martial arts competition, probably shouldn't get a whole lot of recognition, but if you have family dinner, they will think you are artificially proud of them. Also, since no one in America can cook, we will take care of that for you too. Cooking and parenting, free with every lasagna. Stouffers, because we know you can't. Supporting mediocrity one lasagna at a time.

2 Nabisco Who:maker of all forms of junk food, specifically Oreo "Cakesters."
Synopsis: droves of women screaming and chasing after a Nabisco truck, knocking it over and stealing the cookies. Voiceover says "they're finnally here, 100 calorie pack oreo cakesters."
what they try to say: we have recently created a 100 calorie pack of Oreo Cakesters. This should be great for people who are trying to watch their weight or countin calories. Nabisco cares about obesity.
What they are actually saying: It is only gross when women get fat, that is why there are no men in our commercial. Guys, go ahead, eat your heart out. Now, women, we know you can't control yourselves, and simply eat less, or make healthy choices, so rather than help you responsibly diet, we have made our cookies a bit smaller, and sell them to you at 7 times the price, with lots of extra packaging, just the way you sensless and overly exciteable women like them.